‘tis the season for blasphemy, i guess

In an effort to keep myself amused as I hurriedly wrapped presents, I had the television on for background noise earlier this evening. (Because I cannot listen to Leroy Anderson’s arrangement of Sleigh Ride one more time today, even if it is the best Christmas song ever.) I’d just finished wrapping the new Pink Martini cd in Rudolph paper, when I glanced up at the screen. Commericals.

Have you seen this one? The ad starts with the camera skimming over the sand in a vast desert, racing past handsomely lit dunes as far as the eye can see. Then the voice-over begins:

For years, the big screen has brought you countless tales of the strong and powerful. Now, this holiday, it’s time to experience the story of
[on screen, yellow type]
"THE ONE KING"
"THE ONE RULER"
that rose to the top
"AND STAYED THERE"
[a beat, then an enormous white pickup truck roars over a dune]
The award-winning 2004 Ford F-150!

Um. Wow. By the time you get to “THE ONE KING,” how could you not be expecting a really annoying evangelical Christian message? I was totally bracing myself for a crowd of Promise Keepers to appear on the horizon or something. But a pickup truck? Hilarious!

Why aren’t the Concerned Women for America all over this? I mean, I know their schedule is pretty full what with putting Christ back into Christmas, keeping an eye on Arlen Specter (no, really), and setting their TiVos to record Doc on Pax ... but this is blasphemy, ladies! Hop to!

Me? I just hope that Chrysler is kicking themselves for not thinking of this first. Really, wouldn’t a “Christ-ler” vehicle have been a much better punch line?